My dad was without a doubt the best dad I could have ever asked for. From early on in my life, I’ve always been obsessed with my dad. I adored him.
No human is perfect, but dad was about as close to perfection for his daughter as a father can be. This man taught me to work, and work hard. He taught me how to hit a ball, how to bait a hook, how to drive my first Barbie Jeep, and, God, did he teach me how to love someone. He took me to countless gymnastics practices. He never missed a competition. Horses weren’t his thing, but he went with me because I loved them. The mall, the fair, and the beach weren’t his thing, but he went because I loved all those things.
One time I went to the beach for the weekend with my cousin. I remember him saying, “If you need me for any reason, even if you’ve been drinking, call Daddy and I’ll be right there.” I knew I wasn’t drinking so I rolled my eyes and thought it was ridiculous because I wasn’t like that.
I called him Walter when I was playfully mad at him. We jokingly flipped each other off all the time just for the fun of it. We’d fought many Nerf wars. I’ve wanted to punch him a few times, and I’m sure he’s wanted to do the same to me. That’s what happens when two people are so alike.
Dad had the kindest heart and he loved me and my mom with all of it. When Otis came bouncing up our driveway as a puppy, he excitedly called the floppy little thing “Shorty.” That became Otis’ temporary name. I wanted to keep that dog so bad, but Dad was still pretty stuck on no. And then he saw how I loved Otis so much, and the idea grew on him. He acted like he couldn’t stand the dog, but Otis knows who his enemies are and wouldn’t ever climb up in an enemy’s lap.
The last time that I saw dad was when he drove 215 miles, one way, to fix my wheel on my truck. We sat on the top of the parking deck and fixed it together (mostly I just handed him tools and made smartalec comments...that’s all I usually did when “helping”). I gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. And I’m going to forever be thankful for that moment because I have no regrets about the last time I saw my dad.
I know he was proud of me. I know by the many times he’s said it, but also by everyone around him. He loved me so much, and that’s all I can ever ask for.
I have plenty of regrets...who can’t? I wish I would’ve gone fishing with him more. I wish I would’ve fought less with him. I wish I wouldn’t have pushed him away whenever I was upset because he just wanted to stop my hurting. I wish I would have watched more football with him, more fishing shows. I wish I would’ve known last Christmas was the last time I’d hang lights with him. But I know he wouldn’t want me to regret all these things because he’s in no pain, no longer suffering through this terrible, terrible sickness, and he’s gotten to be with Jesus. How amazing is that?
Praying is all we could’ve done this whole time, and praying is all we can do right now. I’m comforted knowing that God always has a plan, even though it’s almost never how we envision it.
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