Suffering has been a topic that has held my curiosity since the beginning of 2020 when my pastor did a series on Revelation. It has been a “hot topic” for many throughout the last year—a pandemic, devastating hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes...
People have suffered more mentally with the loss of loved ones and fear of illness, physically due to illness or worsened living conditions. Aside from the series at the beginning of the year, I’ve been curious about suffering thanks to having multiple kidney stones and feeling like my world was crumbling around me because everything had been turned upside down. This past semester, I took a Biblical Foundations class and our “final exam” was a (daunting) research essay on suffering. During that time, my church in Birmingham was doing a series on Job—a man who had very difficult mental and physical suffering.
Recently, I’ve been struggling with the terrible yearning to complain about my suffering. It’s not been an easy year, and this year hasn’t really been great either already.
I love what this article has to say about suffering:
“So, the truth that Paul believed about his suffering — no matter how severe — was that it came ultimately with God’s purpose, and the purpose was that Paul would trust himself less and trust God more, every moment of his life, especially as death approached.”
There is a purpose for suffering. I continue to want to ask, “Well why the heck do I have to suffer this much in such a short timespan? Three kidney stones in six months wasn’t enough? Taking my dad wasn’t enough?” Again, I’m resembling Job.
This article jolted my memory, reminding me about the essay I cried over (multiple times). I worked hard on that essay and did a lot of research, and it ended up paying off for myself (other than for a good grade).
The conclusion to my research was pretty boring for my taste, but it really made me, somehow, feel better when I read it again: “These different Biblical perspectives give a context as to why the world may suffer, whether it is suffering as judgment for our sin, suffering to see God’s bigger picture, suffering as an aspect to salvation, and suffering as atonement.” There is suffering, always has been and always will be, for many reasons. I’m not the first to suffer and I most certainly am not the last. There’s a lot worse that I could be suffering with. But my two-year-old toddler spirit crosses her arms, stomps her foot, puckers her bottom lip out, and cries while melting into a puddle on the floor. I’m learning to not grumble, even if my learning is slow. There is always a purpose, and I am not given the opportunity to always know the “why.”
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